Next: Your Church

Good works brands! You've successfully stormed the convention using guerrilla tactics! This is wonderful news. Surely, a boost in sales will arise. I love money.

Placing your brand at the Democratic Convention is the perfect marketing strategy--an essential part of any media plan. You'll create new brand ambassadors--no pun intended--who will certainly storm the streets shouting, "Obama is the change we need! Buy Qwest fiber optic Internet! But don't pour Coca-Cola on it! That's for the drinking!"

Take note brands who missed out. In four years, you too can slap your logo on the backs of the candidate. Or get even more creative, and run your bio-diesel car on bullshit campaign rhetoric. While in Denver, I think I even saw that cancer survivor who wrote Hillary on her bald head, sporting the AT&T logo like some Maori tattoo.

At least I think it was. I was to busy feeling sad that she was being used again as some sort of brand symbol.

I got over it quickly. After all, she's a brand ambassador. It gives her short life meaning. Kind of like religion, except in the end she'll have a 4G iPhone. Jesus phone saves!

Many among you might wonder why I'm so excited for the agencies who came up with this genius. Isn't corporate influence in government something that most people disdain? Duh. So, why not remind people of it ad infinitum? Soon it will become so commonplace to see the symbolic union of politics and corporation, we'll all accept it as just the way things are--and should be. This is America.

And if that doesn't work, there's always the Vatican. I hear the Pope loves money too.

NY Times